We don't need to teach our kids pretty much anything. And, a blog I love.

I read this in my inbox this morning. It's from nurshable.com, a blog I love. I don't agree with everything Sarah, the blogger, says, but she sure is one fantastic mom (see how that works? We are not the same person, but I like her anyway?). She took Google Adwords off her blog because there was no way to prevent creepy formula ads from showing up. And her posts show that real gut-level psychological insight that can be so lacking in parenting discussions.

Her blogs are all written as letters to her little ones (I think she has three, or something amazing like that). Writing to her 7 month-old daughter who was once classified as a picky eater (by others), she says,

"With your brothers when they started eating purees the food came out in their poop undigested. I was told that their systems were "just getting used to it". They would nurse constantly like they were going through a growth spurt as their bodies could make no use of the stuff that filled up their bellies and then they'd have to catch up with milk later. It felt completely wrong, but I figured it was like walking and it needed to be taught. See the problem there? Walking doesn't need to be taught either."


I couldn't agree more.

Sampling and the Sensory-Rich Anal Canal, or 'On (not) Pooping in the Bath'

My sister sent me this video yesterday.

And I thought, how à propos. First, because she used to poop in our bath when we were little. And second, because just that day I had jumped out of the bath in a fit of terror, holding Sweet Baby James at arms' length and saying (ever-so-sweetly, I'm sure), "Do you need to go pooping? Would you like the potty?"

You see, in our family we do a modified sort of elimination communication (yes, I said 'in our family'. Everyone in our family communicates about elimination, it happens as soon as you get married). I was supposed to write about EC a year ago when we were doing it with SBJ and it was really working, but by the time I got around to it, he had stopped. He started crawling and exploring the world and suddenly, no matter how many funny song-and-dance routines I did, sitting on the toilet just wasn't entertaining anymore.

But he hasn't pooped in the bath since he was three months old and we bathe together every day. I don't know why I was scared. I guess it was the toots I heard/felt. They seemed serious. But no poop was forthcoming. False alarm, Maman!

But I started thinking, how do we know when it's just going to be a toot, not a poop?

For answers to questions like these, I turn to Ingrid Bauer. I have a huge mama-crush on Ingrid. She lives on Salt Spring Island (I used to live there!) and she speaks French (I used to speak French!), she coaches parents (I'm judgmental!) and she must be the most amazing mother. I read her book, Natural Infant Hygiene when I took it out of the library and then I decided had to have it.

   

Only problem is, it's out of print and second-hand copies are going for over $200. 

Whaaaat? At least it's available on Kindle for $11. Anyway.

Here's what she says:

"Like urination, defecation involves a series of events that include muscles under both voluntary and involuntary control. As food is digested and leaves the stomach, it moves through first the small and then the large intestine. The descending colon of the large intestine empties into the sigmoid colon and then into the rectum. As the rectum fills, stretch receptors (similar to those in the bladder) produce signals that lead to an awareness of the urge to defecate. The distension of the rectum initiates the rectoanal inhibitory response. An involuntary reflex relaxes the internal anal sphincter, while the external sphincter contracts.

This process allows for the sampling reflex in the sensory-rich anal canal. Sampling, which occurs throughout the day, helps the individual determine whether the rectal contents are gas, diarrhea, or normal stool." (pp.100-101)

First of all, I would like to thank Ms. Bauer for the opportunity to use the words "sensory-rich anal canal" in a mama blog post. I don't think that would have been possible without her.

On another blog, maybe.

And second, I had totally forgotten the sigmoid colon exists! I love that little guy! In case any of this confuses (confeces?) you, here's a diagram. This is one medical image about which I'm happy there's little context included.

Image brought to you by Sitting Toilets: The Secret Very Few Know Today

So there you have it, folks. Sensors in the anal canal let you know how much it's stretching to hold in that poop. And if they're telling you it's not stretching very much, then you know it's just gas.

Aren't you glad you asked?

On Aroma, Part II

"Is he pooping?... Or is that just the breadmaker?"

Updates - and Poop

Some of you may have thought I dropped off the face of the planet. Although sometimes I wish I could say this were true (or at least dropped to a well hidden area of the earth with bathroom doors that locked and silent bubble baths all to oneself...), in this particular case its not - I am still here. Just in a lesser capacity.

The past month I have been hit with a shitstorm plethora of events, appointments, final exams and sicknesses that would rival the schedule of any superhero overstressed, under slept, possibly over-caffienated parent with three children, two jobs and a master's degree underway. So as such, and to prove that I am not completely negligent of my blog updates, and because its one of the all time favorite topics of parents, I have decided to include a post specifically dedicated to poop. Yes poop. Just a few things I learned along the way, spanning 3 lovely spirited children.

1. Poop at certain points has the velocity of a fire hose: And yes it can almost reach the same distance. I kid you not. This is something you may particularly want to watch out for when unsuspectingly opening a diaper in the only existing, very small, very cramped, Doctor's office bathroom after doing the sniff and check test. Imagine something similar to the projectile vomiting scene in the Excorcist - only poop. Everywhere. Including the ceiling.

2. Use your pooptuition: You know that little voice in your head that tells you that there's a chance that a poop is on its way? In the particular case in which blueberries are involved, I would say its a good chance you may want to listen to that suspicion - especially when you might happen to have your baby on a newly installed fresh, lush (expensive looking) green carpet of a newly renovated bed and breakfast you might happen to be visiting while celebrating your anniversary.

3. Poop makes a great medium for creating artworks: Usually these types of creative endeavours are self restricted to the walls and floor of ones bedroom, and appear to mainly be inspired by the rising sun (or nap time creativity spurs). On the plus side poop murals tend to be a sign of creative genius.

4. Poop Floats: Generally speaking, if during the traditional bath time hair rinsing you see something akin to a brown submarine float by and are unsure where that bath toy might have come from - don't pick it up, its not a toy....

5. Poop Travels: Poop travels everywhere, and it doesn't care how it gets there either - coach or first class, you can be sure that you will encounter a poosplosion at some point in your child's life. The kind that blows the diaper off and continues up the back of the shirt to the hair (yes hair), and out the pant legs (or at least you hope your child is wearing pants and not a sleeper when this happens....)

6. You cannot escape parenthood without being pooped on: Are you one of those people that post baby got squeamish and never owned a dog because you hated the thought of picking up dog poop? Ha! Welcome to parenthood.

The funny thing is, once you become a parent you can tackle anything because it's the poop that helps you overcome adversity. Yes it has that ability. Once you've cleaned your umpteenth diaper, or your 5 millionth poop mural, or had the joy of the baby farting while taking a bath together (only it wasn't a fart), you can conquer the world! The best part: there's a whole community of people just like you. To talk about and be just as excited, shocked, dismayed and horrified by the enigmatic nature of poop. At least all the cool kids are.