There are some pretty amazing cakes out there. Like the cake my co-blogger Sarah located for her son's birthday : dino-themed, marzipan-covered, cute-as-a-button... But that was for a whole birthday party, complete with paper plates, streamers, a hundred delicious dishes, small healthy treats in the shape of penguins, friends, in-laws, and other kids.
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| OK so this isn't actually the cake Sarah made. She didn't get her one year-old P confused with a nine year-old named Joey. You wanna make a cake like this? You're that kind of mama? Well I'm not about to stop you. First, leave this blog. Second, go to: http://www.instructables.com/id/3d-Dinosaur-Birthday-Cake/ Third, don't come back. |
For Sweet Baby James' birthday, it was just us.
I'm not about to buy a dino cake for just us. Because that would be expensive.
Also, I forgot to order it ahead of time.
Enter, the New York Times recipe blog. I guess intellectuals need to eat after all.
The Molasses Cake is one of those fake foods. You know what I'm talking about – everyone tells you it tastes 'just like' the real one but actually it's healthy and doesn't contain anything worth trading into your friend's lunch-box. Like plain yogourt isn't whipped cream and bran flakes aren't exactly sugar cereal. In fact, there's a whole rainbow of deception in this adult-to-kids lie...
- Zucchini bread = Chocolate cake.
- Frozen yogourt = Ice cream
- Carrob anything = Chocolate anything
- Frozen juice (you know that kind with the little red plastic tops that you put in the freezer yourself) = Popsicles
- Kale chips = Potato chips
- Small pieces of red onion = Special bacon bits
- Tofu dogs = Hot dogs
- McDonald's = A home renovation supply store
(many thanks to fb friends for sharing their memories – I know it was painful)
"We went to McDonald's," she said. "And it was delicious."
She didn't speak to her dad for a week.
I think we should all take a lesson from this: while there are many things wrong with feeding your baby ice-cream cake from DQ, there's also something downright sneaky about serving crunchysproutkalehealthbread and calling it "cake".
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| "Don't eat it, it's iron-rich bread!" |
So I added a blood orange and ginger compote filling.
And mascarpone-chai icing.
And it was delicious.
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Molasses Bread:
Ingredients:
- Dry:
- 2 cups whole wheat flour
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon ground ginger
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- a dash of salt
- 1/3 cup brown sugar
- 1/2 cup raisins (optional)
- Wet:
- 2 eggs
- 1 cup plain yogourt
- 1/2 cup blackstrap molasses
- 1/4 cup canola oil
Directions:
- Prep:
- Preheat oven to 350°F, with a rack in the middle.
- Grease a large casserole dish on the bottoms and sides.
- Mix the dry ingredients together in one bowl.
- Mix the wet ingredients together in another.
- Put the two together.
- Pour mixture into the pan and bake until the fork-test comes out clean.
Blood Orange and Ginger Compote Filling
Ingredients:
- One blood orange
- Assorted citrus you'd like to get rid of
- Sugar (optional)
- Dried ginger root
Directions:
- Wash the blood orange. Without peeling it, grate half its skin (zest). Use a cheese grater, it's easy.
- Peel the orange and blend its flesh with whatever other citrus you have on hand (withered grapefruit, anyone?) until it's smoothie consistency.
- Transfer to a small pot on the stove at medium. Bring to a low boil, stirring consistently.
- Add the zest, ginger and sugar.
- Turn the temperature down and let it simmer until the water's boiled off and it looks like the kind of thing you'd like to find in the middle of a cake.
Chai-Mascarpone Icing (this shit is incredible)
Ingredients:
- 1 cup mascarpone
- 1 teabag chai tea/1 tablespoon looseleaf chai tea
- 1/2 cup icing sugar
- 1/2 cup heavy whipped cream
Directions:
- Simmer the cream with a bag of chai tea in it, or some looseleaf. Let it steep and cool. Strain and remove chai tea bits.
- With a wooden spoon, stir together the mascarpone and sugar, adding a bit at a time (it's easy to overpower the mascarpone taste with too much sugar, I know because I did it and then I had to run out to the yuppy market down the way and buy another container of mascarpone which, though overpriced like all things convenient, I can assure you, did not go to waste).
- Add the cooled, flavoured cream. Mix it all together.
- Let it chill in the fridge to reconsolidate.
Now you just get the "cake" out of the pan, cut it in two and put a layer of compote in between. Dollop the icing on top and let it artfully fall whichever way it wants. Presto! CAKE!
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